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Woo, more productive work tonight! I am totally in the groove ^_^
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A glass of wine and 5 pages of questionable usefulness later, I feel quite accomplished :>

And something Corey just sent me - what a very cool and interesting link.

(By the way - #6 doesn't work, just skip ahead to #7 by typing it in manually.)

I bet that these are artistically quite interesting, in addition to being descriptive of the subject's Long Strange Trip. Of course, I know nothing about art :p - one of those things I would really like to take a few courses in one of these days - but call it a hunch.
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Well, today was not as productive as I had hoped :p I made it as far as getting dressed, but my plans to leave the house and/or get work done sort of stalled at that point. Pretty much spent the day between the computer and the TV and cuddling with the cats.

Well, nothing wrong with downtime.

Tangential note...sometimes thinking about what the hell I'm going to do with the rest of my life really scares me. Well, I'd sure be happier if I had a vague idea of what I was doing with the next few years, anyway. Living on a month-by-month basis drives me nuts.

I don't know. I keep coming back to thinking about the whole construction thing (as I've mentioned to many people at some point, this has been my plan B - "if I flunk out, I can go make cabinets somewhere") and wondering if I actually have the courage to do that, and how I'd manage it anytime soon. I'm proud of the stuff I've accomplished with school (and writing, insofar as I've accomplished much with that lately) but I really enjoyed the stuff I was doing for Habitat - not to mention woodworking in high school. But that was volunteering, and high school. In both places I was depending on other people who knew what they were doing to direct me. Y'know? I worry about changing directions and then finding out I'm no good at it; I worry about how and when I would finance going back to school for a year or two. I wonder whether I could hack it in that workplace. I guess the smart thing to do if I'm going to do this is check out some ads for "labourers" when the construction season starts up again - no clue if I'm qualified, but I know that's where you start without experience. And I suppose I can apply for Algonquin and Rosemount here in Montreal, and decide what to do with the results when they get here.

I don't know. I hate it when things are up in the air.

I'm going to go have a glass of wine and pick up a pen now. For real this time!
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Happy New Year to all :)

Spent mine with family - Liana brought her boyfriend up from TO, and he is cool, so we wanted to hang out with him for a bit. Originally everyone was supposed to come up from Montreal, but we don't really have all that much space here and mom didn't want to drive all the way home late at night, so it made more sense for Corey & I to truck back into Ottawa. Evening consisted of cooking paprika chicken over a glass or two of wine and watching many episodes of Star Trek TNG over chocolate with the whole family. All around a lovely time.

Funny how you appreciate your family more and more as you get older. I wish we lived closer.

Worked at Blockbuster last night, and for some reason that shift just crawled :p Tried to drag my coworkers out for a drink afterwards but everyone wimped out on me - which was just as well, I was pretty wiped myself by 12 AM. Came home and messed around on the internet for a while, slept in this morning (sweet, sweet sleeping in...hasn't actually happened much over the holidays, so I'm going to enjoy it while I can for the next few days before work starts again). Plans for today include Tim Hortons and possibly some writing...I feel a little recharged on that front now for having the Monster Thesis a few months behind me and no other really brainful work to do. So we'll see how it goes.

And because I cannot contain my dorkiness: it's 2004, finally, yayyyy! :D Much weddingy stuff to do over the next few months. Looking forward to pretty much all of it. Heeeeeheehee.
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It has been a hairy, hectic several weeks and I am exhausted. Between working 50 hours a week and making holiday preparations, I feel like I've hardly had time to breathe. Still, I have money in the bank and have had a lovely christmas, and my temp job has asked me to come back in January - yay! Still no job security there, but it's another month or two of being in the green, so this is a very good thing.

Holidays started with Hanukkah dinner on the 19th - Corey's sister's kitchen, my cooking. Latkes, potato soup, beet salad with orange cumin vinaigrette, and marinated flanken (beef short ribs). Mmmm. Back to Montreal to work for a couple days, and then home again to my family's place on the 24th. That day was kind of a big ball of stress - frantic last-minute cooking, knitting (I'd been making a sweater for my dad, but only started two weeks out), etc - but it ended well, with the whole family going to see Return of the King. Sweeeeeeeeet Lord of the Rings satisfaction. There were an awful lot of shots in which Pointlessly Long Significant Looks Are Exchanged that would have done well to land on the cutting room floor, and I think Christopher Lee would have had more business putting in an appearance than Cate Blanchett did, but overall I was happy. Basically I think my final verdict on the series is that the books are better, but it would be damned hard to do a better job of putting them on film.

Stayed up very late Christmas eve trying to finish Dad's sweater. I called it quits with one sleeve left to go, and as it turns out I didn't have enough wool with me to finish it anyway, but it made a great gift nonetheless and will be finished by the New Year. Mom has been wearing the vest I knitted her for the last two days :D and all our other gifts seemed to go over large as well. Mom gave us some crystal stemware she brought back from her trip to Europe in the summer. I also got the new Sarah McLachlan CD and an amazing Canadian Living cookbook from my sisters, one of what will eventually be a set of hand-embroidered napkins from my youngest sister, a pair of beautiful pearl earrings from Corey, a set of cookbooks and a handy cookbook-holder from my inlaws. Spent the rest of Christmas Day knitting, napping, and having the usual huge dinner with family and some family friends. Got up very early today with mom and grandma to brave the madness that is Bayshore on Boxing Day. Stocked up on twinkly lights for wedding decorations, since they were all 50% off, picked up some great pants for work and a few tops for Corey. We finished around 1 PM, and by that time it was really getting to be a zoo and grandma and I were both wiped anyway.

Wanted to post my thoughts about the season, by the way, since I've been reading other people's over the past couple weeks. For the interested. )


Nov. 24th, 2003 06:21 pm
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Kit and Ian, you two especially must check out this truly wonderful link:
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And so the month of doom begins.

I've decided that, with the holidays looming, I am going to work my little toosh off. With my nice 40-hour per week temp job, plus weekend shifts at Blockbuster, I should be able to finance myself into January...farther than that, if I manage to keep the nice temp job for a little longer (or find another one).


We'll see how this goes, of course, but this is my plan. It's just a month...I'm sure I can manage to do anything for a month.

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My first day of work was pretty cool. My coworkers are nice, and the work is easy and makes time go quickly, even if it is pretty brainless (put these files away, organize these files, file these documents, print these labels, etc. etc. etc.) My supervisor tends to mumble his French (you never realize how little you enunciate properly until a non-native speaker is trying to understand you!) so I have a hard time understanding him completely, but so far I've just made sure to double-check with him that I've understood his directions, and that seems to keep me out of trouble. Everyone else takes pity on me and speaks English to me :p but there's certainly enough French in the air that I hope I can absorb some of it.
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So as of next Wednesday morning I am an office clerk for about 4 or 5 weeks, possibly longer. Woo!

True that this is not all that glamorous, but I am still INSANELY proud of myself...because about 2/3 of the interview was in French. And I managed to understand it all, and even managed to answer some of it semi-coherently. And I got the job. OH yeah. *happy dance*

In other news, Kayzie (Lisa's daughter, my goddaughter) has spent the last couple days here. This has been both an absolute ray of sunshine and utterly exhausting. She is such a good kid. Sometimes I really look at parenting with fear and trembling though...I mean, this huuuuge responsibility, 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, nonstop, no matter how sick or tired or grumpy you are. I'm worn out at the end of two days, and that's just with an extremely well-behaved but bouncy and talkative 5-year-old. Where do people find the energy and patience to keep up??
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I've got money in my pocket
I like the colour of my hair
I've got a friend who loves me
Got a house, I've got a car
I've got a good mother
and her voice is what keeps me here...
I've got a good father
and his strength is what makes me cry

Sometimes I sit and count my blessings and end up surprised and grateful at how rich I really am in them. Things are good and getting better, and that's about all I have to say just now.
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Ah, jobhunting. Le joy. Le fun.

I got a call today from the recruiter whose data entry test I thought I had fucked right up - they were offering me a job. Woohoo!

Unfortunately, they pretty much only offer jobs that start in, tonight, when I'm already scheduled to work. Dammit!

So basically I can't get a job through this place unless I give zero notice where I'm working now. Basically I would have to quit in order to wait on something from this agency. The pay is quite a bit better - not stellar or anything, but would be enough to get by, or at least a lot closer to enough to get by - but I can't be guaranteed that something will come along right away.

I'm not sure what to do about this. Corey suggests I could just work weekends at Blockbuster for a couple of weeks and see if anything comes up during the week...and if it doesn't I'll just go back to business as usual. I'd need to rely on my parents for $$ for those two weeks, but if I got a more decent job, it might be worth it. I'll have to talk to them about it.
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Dude. This is pretty freakin impressive. Not to mention hilarious. Check it out.
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OK - I got too big a kick out of this not to post it...

<td bgcolor="#000000">What is your Name [Screenname]</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td><td bgcolor="#000000">Gender</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td><td bgcolor="#000000">Age</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA"></td><td bgcolor="#000000">The Creator</td><td bgcolor="#DDDDAA">Now remember your job is to take over and rewrite the bible. </td>
The first thing the Creator said to you by phoenixgoddess
Created with quill18's MemeGen!

How devastatingly appropriate is that??
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I would sure like to shake the hand of the person who first thought of putting chocolate chip cookie dough in ice cream. Pure genius.
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I got screened out of both the gov't jobs I thought I might have been actually qualified for.


And furthermore: fuck.

It turns out my financial optimism was unwarranted. I'm ending up about $200 short per month. Once again: fuck. I fucking hate minimum wage, even if it is better here than in Ontario.

I really want a real fucking job. Fucking now, please and thank you.

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Oh, and another thing - Eminem cracks me up. "Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; well I do - so fuck him and fuck you too." I don't know why I get such a kick out of that, but I do. Sheer brilliance. Almost as good as Osama bin Laden dancing along to the beat in the video for "Without Me".
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Damn I am in a good mood.

Many things contribute to this. Had a good shift at work. Ate a great smoked meat sandwich. Got more Sex And The City tapes (started renting them to see what all the fuss was is pretty funny, if not exactly realistic). Looks like I will indeed be able to cover my monthly expenses with work, albeit only just. Wedding stuff continues to come together, and there's less than a year to go (yes, I'm a dork - deal with it :p) The Beatles' "When I'm 64" just came on my playlist, which never fails to make me smile.

It's more than the sum of its parts, somehow. Weird how that happens sometimes. Oh well, off to enjoy it anyway!
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I was just reading a post on one of my wedding boards about the scariness of the possibility of divorce, and it got me thinking...

It's funny about divorce. There's still this total social stigma attached to it. Nothing like what it used to be, but so many people on these boards have this attitude that they "don't believe in" divorce...with the underlying implication that those who do get divorced have failed in some way, are taking the easy way out, missed warning signs, etc. How stupid. I mean, everyone is sure of their choice and 100% committed to being with this person forever when they get married - otherwise they wouldn't do it. It's just that, well, people change, people can be wrong, and people are generally not psychic. It kind of pisses me off to see people looking down their noses at divorcees. Unless you have some special telepathic ability to see into the future, you can't be any more sure of your relationship than anybody else. It is scary to think that circumstances and setbacks lie ahead that you are now completely oblivious to and unprepared for. Corey and I have had a very peaceful, easy-going relationship so far - one of the many things I treasure about it - but I know it won't always be like that. I hope we can deal with the bad times when they come. Do I have what it takes to tough it out, to be patient, to really work at it? How can I know now? I mentioned this to my mom at one point and she suggested that the good times build strength for when the bad times come. And I guess the thing is that, like I said, that seems like something you can't know, regardless of how strong your relationship is now or how long you've been together. If rough times have come and gone before, how do you know you'll be able to weather the next one? Marriage is in so many ways a plunge into the total unknown. You don't know what lies ahead for you and your spouse - but you commit to sticking together through it anyway. That always has to be a gamble.

Having said that, all that uncertainty seems to warrant a certain degree of caution in making that commitment. I have trouble understanding why you would get engaged before living with someone - never mind dating them - for at least a year. Plenty of fast engagements have worked out into loving and happy marriages, but it just seems like a big risk...playing with fire, really. I mean, there's uncertainty and uncertainty, I point above is that you can never be 100% certain, no matter how long you've been with someone, but you definitely do become more certain over time, which is a good thing.

Maybe divorce is too easy nowadays. I don't know. When you say "till death do us part" you should really mean that and work for it. But at the same time...

(1) it takes two to work it out. If one person has already thrown in the towel on the relationship, the other person can "work at it" for as hard and long as they want without any result.

(2) is easy divorce really a bad thing, necessarily? 50 or 100 years ago, I don't think you would have seen any more happy marriages than there are today. The difference was that people stayed in miserable situations - situations that, because of the power balance between genders, were unlikely to be "worked out" - because the social stigma attached to divorce left them no choice. People were as likely to rush into things, misjudge their partner, or be lazy about the relationship "back in the day" as they are now. It's only the options available that have changed.
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Oh, I feel much better today. It's suprising what a good shift can do for your mood. Plus it also helps that the nice new girl who just started claims to have less French than I do - I feel smarter now that I'm not the only one :>
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It's a good thing I'm home, because if one more person talked to me in French tonight, I would cry and run away.

That's all I have to say about tonight :ppp
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